Dubya to Americans, "USA not a Free Nation, Look Elsewhere for Freedom"

Well yeah, I'm pulling a Faux News inspired job of paraphrasing, but check it out...

You see I have a widget called "Chimp-O-Matic" on my personal Google page that feeds me George Dubya quotes. That paired up with my Buddhist quote of the day really starts my day off right. As you can probably imagine, many of them are funny, confuding, bady structured, grammatically incorrect to the point of absurdity, and so on, but this one really defines for me the ridiculous paradox that is the USofA today.

"See, free nations are peaceful nations. Free nations don't attack each other. Free nations don't develop weapons of mass destruction." --George w. Bush in Milwaukee, WI - 10/03/2003

Yeeeeeah........

Who do you think you are, Tony Montana?

I was a bit shocked by a headline I read earlier this week, reading, "Woman mualed to death by tiger in B.C. Interior."

My first thought was something like, "What the hell is a tiger doing in the B.C. interior!?!". Images of Siberian Tigers stalking the woods of the Okanagan Valley ravaging unsuspecting fruit farmers spun through my head. It turns out that the truth is a little more mundane, but certainly just as gruesome.

The tiger was actually being kept as a pet by a gentleman who lives by a tiny community called Bridge Lake and keeps several big cats there. The tiger was in a cage at the time, and the poor lady who became lunch for the tiger was the guy's girlfriend, who was...get this...PETTING THE TIGER IN FRONT OF HER TWO KIDS.

Seriously people. If Seigfried and Roy can't control a freakin tiger that they've raised from a kitten for 10+ years, maybe you shouldn't be strolling into your boyfriend's macho zoo fantasy to play with his large caged predators. Better yet, unless you are a Miami crime lord, you probably shouldn't own a tiger at all.

Seven Wonders of Canada - Nominate your Pick Today!

The CBC has started a public nomination for "The Seven Wonders of Canada", where you can nominate and vote for any location in Canada that you believe is worth the honour. The winners will be featured on The National and Sounds Like Canada.

You have to get your nominations in by May 4th, and voting will commence on May 7th. There will also be a panel of judges to weigh in the nominations.

The criteria for evaluation includes:

- Essential 'Canadian-ness' - historically significant, character filled, valued
- Originality/uniqueness of the pitch and place
- Spectacular physical site or amazing human creation
- Ability to inspire
- Range within the final seven - diversity of location, type of wonder

That leaves it pretty wide open, with man-made and natural locations being eligible. My nomination was for Vancouver Island's 'West Coast Trail', which I believe is one of the most interesting places on the planet.

Iraq Vets speak out, Oliver Stone to help.

I recently ran across the story that Oliver Stone will directing a TV spot meant to help speed up the withdrawal of US troops from Iraq. I guess the websites MoveOn.org and VoteVets.org have teamed up to create a project called Video Vets, where veterans of the Irag war can send in video tapes showing their viewpoints on the Iraq war. Oliver Stone is an astute choice due to his experiences as a veteran of another unpopular and questionable war in Viet Nam.

The objective is to show that despite what the current US administration asserts, being Anti-War is not the same as Anti-American or Anti-Troops.

At any rate, the videos up for viewing right now are personal, touching, and real. It's great when you get a 'inside' look at things without a media or political spin. No one is more qualified to speak about the situation in Iraq than those who have been there and participated in the war. Let's hear THEIR voice for a change. You can view all of the videos by clicking this link. It's maybe best to let them speak for themselves.

Celebrating the Life of June Callwood

June Callwood died on April 14th, 2007 after an ongoing fight with cancer at the age of 82. It is a sad day for all of Canada, and is an excellent opportunity to look at the life and acheivements of one of the Greatest Canadians.

June Callwood was an author and social activist that was often called "Canada's Conscience" due to her work in over 50 activist organizations having to do with everything from Civil Liberties, Homelessness, Racism, Gender Equality, and support for troubled teens, battered women, and people with HIV/AIDS. She is noted for having started Casey House, one of the world's first hospices for HIV/AIDS.

She was very much a renaissance woman of sorts. She was a TV personality from several CBC shows duting the 70's. She was a prominent author and journalist working for the Globe and Mail starting in the 40's, and later ghostwriting several autobiographies including Barbara Walters'. She had a valid pilot's license until the day she died. All that combined with her social work makes her one of the most important and influencial Canadians in recent history. She was awarded the Order of Canada in 1978.

Mrs. Callwood recently gave one of the most intimate and touching interviews that I've ever seen with George Strombolopolous on The Hour. I, like so many before, felt personally touched by her candour and wisdom. Her passing is a sad day for Canada, and I'm sure she will be remembered by the thousands of lives she touched. We can all learn from examples like hers to improve our own lives and the lives of those around us. That is June Callwood's legacy.

NHL uses CBC : Network feels dirty, needs shower.

Canadian Hockey fans everywhere should feel free to throw a temper tantrum. Why you ask? Well, in case you didn't know, the NHL just doesn't give a shit about you, and they just threw it in your face.

The Toronto Star had a great piece about this recent news. Here's the breakdown:

1. The CBC recently renewed their TV deal with the NHL to a hefty tune of roughly $100+ million dollars a year until 2014. This is the NHL's most lucrative deal. Richer than previous ABC or NBC deals.


2. The NHL sets the Round 1 playoff schedule. Now, the CBC had asked for and expected the first Saturday Night game of the playoffs on Hockey Night in Canada to feature the Ottawa Senators (the largest market in Canada that made the playoffs), and the Pittsburg Pengiuns featuring Canada's golden boy Sidney Crosby. INSTEAD, the NHL puts that game on in the afternoon to please NBC, and CBC gets to feature Tampa versus New Jersey. Uhhh, riiiight...


3. Not only that, but HNIC Saturday Night will only see one game featuring a Canadian team (Canucks - Stars), but ONLY if it goes 6 games!

Now, I know that the NHL values American fans more than Canadian fans, as evidenced by everything from the preference for exansion into the southern states to what I believe is a definate trend in biased reffing against Canadian teams. Montreal hockey sites have been bitching about this for awhile, but over the last 2 or 3 seasons, I believe I have seen an obvious trend of reffing against the interests of Canadian NHL teams (yes, I mean you Mick MacGeough). Mick Magoo is the most visible of the refs who habitually make horrible calls against Canadian teams in favour of American (and the bigger the market the better) teams. There is even a petition to fire his sorry ass!

This is just the latest slap in the face of Canadian fans. It seems that not only does the NHL not care about us, they actually DISDAIN us. If the league really wants to grow and have all of it's teams be successful, they should cater to their grassroots fans who made the game what it is today. And HEY GARY! There's a bunch of us north of the 49th parallel.

Vimy Ridge : 90 Years of Canadian Pride and Counting

This Easter marks the 90th anniversary of one of the proudest moments in Canada's history. Namely, the Battle of Vimy Ridge, which was a pivotal battle in WWI.

In very short form, Vimy Ridge was a line that was held for the majority of WWI by the Germans, and was deemed by British and other Allied forces to be untakable after something like 3 years of assualts. A more complete background and history is available here.

Several things make Vimy special for Canadians. Firstly, Canada was really only a fledgling nation, and it was one of the first times that we stood out on our own to the rest of the world. And the way that we stood out was something else! Basically, Canadian troops executing the tactics put forward by the Canadian military acheived in about 4 days what most of the other allies couldn't acheive in 3 years...and with a fraction of the troops. Finally, it was largely hailed as the first major victory for any of the allies in the entirety of the war.

Today, Canada's largest war memorial stands on the site of the battle, listing the names of some 11000+ troops who are known to have died in France during WWI, and as a memorial to the over 60000 troops who gave their lives in the whole of WWI.

An excellent photo gallery of the battle can be found here. I think it's very important to reflect upon these events, not only to remember the great deeds of our forefathers, but in the hope that such deeds never need to be achieved again.

Chad VanGaalen at Junos

I've written before about my buddy Chad VanGaalen from Calgary. He's been making it sort of big lately, having released 2 albums. First was Infiniheart in 2005, and then Skelliconnection in 2006 under the legendary SubPop label.

Well...Skelliconnection was good enough to nab Chad a Juno nomination for 'Alternative Album of the Year'. Unfortunately, he lost. But given that he lost to City and Colour (the solo project of alexisonfire frontman Dallas Green), I'm guessing he feels pretty good about the whole thing.

In the meantime, if you dig Indie Alt Singer Songwriter stuff that's tough to pigeon hole (think Beck meets Neil Young), please feel free to pick up one of Chad's albums. They are available at many music stores, and I know they are both on iTunes. It's not exactly a gravy train making music in Canada.

If you want to check out his stuff and how amazingly talented he is, check out his music videos on YouTube:

Flower Gardens from Skelliconnection

Red Hot Drops from Skelliconnection

Clinically Dead from Infiniheart

What's really amazing is that Chad did these 100% by himself, from writing to recording to animating. You have to respect that kind of artistry.

Funniest SNL Skit Continued...

This is to go with the below post...

Funniest SNL Skit Ever?

Man oh man. Andy Samberg is unquestionably the most talented player on SNL nowadays. As if the Natalie Portman rap, the Chroni-what-Cles of Narnia rap, and the Tom Hanks "Please don't Cut my Testicles" skits weren't enough, Andy's latest 'Digital Short' pushes the absolute limits of television comedy. Justin Timeberlake is pretty good too. While I'm no fan of his music, his SNL appearances have been priceless. Check out his turns as one of the Bee Gees opposite Jimmy Fallon on the 'Barry Gibb Show' sometime.

Climate Change Link Round-Up (or The World is-a Drownin'...So Sorry Come Again!)

I was reading today about yet another climate change study; this one warning about rising sea levels and the dangers posed to a large portion of Earth's human population and cities that would be directly affected.

I wasn't really intending to write an article just based on that, but it was just recently that I was at a family dinner where certain people called into question the very validity of climate change, calling it, "The Hoax of the Century".

With that in mind, I just wanted to link to a variety of good information sources online to read up on climate change.

• CBC "In Depth" site on Climate Change


• Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (or the guys who are stirring the pot currently by writing the new report that FOX news can't bash enough)


• United Nations Framwork Convention on Climate Change (or the guys who wrote the Kyoto Protocol)


• Wikipedia on Climate Change


• United Nations Environmental Programme

Happy Surfing!

Brokeback CTU

I just haven't been able to watch the 'serious' scenes with Jack and Tony the same way after watching this. TOO FREAKIN FUNNY!

My Prayers have been Answered! Pumpkins returning!

Oh Yes, music fans. It's a good good day. It has been confirmed that the Smashing Pumpkins are not only reunited for a new album, called 'Zeitgeist' which is being release July 7 of 2007, but they are also touring! And their first Canadian stop will be the Virgin Music Festival in Toronto! So far it does not look as if they will be making any other stops north of the border any time soon.

As a longtime Pumpkins fan, I've been waiting for this for a long time. Fans have known for awhile that something might happen, after Billy Corgan publically announced his intention to reform SP. Since then I have heard through rumour and official sites about who is or might be actually in the reformed band. Jimmy Chamberlain is on drums, which is awesome. Jimmy's drums are among the best ALL TIME, and really give the Pumpkins their backbone. Other than that, nothing is official, but I'm guessing James Iha is in for lead guitar. Rumour mills have him showing up at the studio where the new album is being put together. No sign of D'Arcy though, which perhaps isn't surprising at all. While she might not have been the core reason for why the band broke up in the first place, it's pretty obvious that she was (intentionally or not) a catalyst for some of the conflicts. My guess, which rumour mills mostly agree with, is that Melissa Auf der Maur will be reprizing her role on bass that she had after D'Arcy first left.

Now, there is pretty much no way I will be able to attend in T.O., but who knows what future tours this might lead to? My saddest story EVER is that I missed my one and only opportunity to see the Pumpkins live in the late 90's in Calgary. I had tickets and everything, but I was working in Banff, and the stupid freakin' Greyhound bus was delayed for HOURS and I missed the concert. If I had a 'dead to me' list, you had better believe Greyhound is on it.

A curiosity of sorts is the title. Zeitgeist is apprently a German expression originally meaning 'time spirit'. In philosophical terms, it refers to the view of the world of a particular social period; a 'spirit of the age'. How will this album sound? Who knows? I personally would love to hear a 'throw-back' of sorts. Something that fits into the soundscape of Siamese Dream or Mellon Collie, rather than the more progressive sounds of Ava Adore. It was a great album, and pretty under-rated in my mind, but it did seem to be a move AWAY from what made the Pumpkins amazing.

Long story short, all Pumpkin-head ears should be wide open for new SP tracks, and even the whole music world would be wise to pay attention as this monster of a band flexes it's muscle again.

Joe Taxpayer gets to play parent to Alberta Oil...

...by paying for them and cleaning up their mess.

Harper announced today a 160 million dollar project to help the Alberta Oil Industy make projects like the Oil Sands more environmentally friendly. All this while the average Canadian taxpayer has footed the bill for BILLIONS in tax breaks to these projects, even while they turn record profits! Does any of this make sense?

Let's walk through this in point form just to get a clear view of things:

- The oil industry makes crazy-ass amounts of money. Enough so that the Alberta government (which takes only a small cut of the profits) turns multi-billion dollar surpluses while still dolling out cash rebates to all of it's citizens a couple of times a year.

- The Oil Industry makes Alberta the richest province in Canada.

- The Conservative government of Alberta is very comfortably in power, mostly because everyone loves the governments when the economy is awesome and the government mails you checks every few months just for being an Albertan.

- The Oil Sands project is a major environmental villian.

- The federal government decides to not only NOT tax the oil companies, but to actually give them MORE MONEY to make the projects a little nicer to the environment.

Does there seem to be something wrong here? Why can't the government just tell the oil companies what they have to do? What could big oil possibly negotiate with? Can they move the Oil Sands somewhere else? No. Can they threaten to somehow steal more money from the taxpayers? No. The government has all kinds of leverage! How about starting with 'Oh guess what Mr. Oil Sands exec...We decided you guys have been getting your ass kissed for alittle while too long. It turns out that you have to pay taxes like everyone else, so please fork over the billions of dollars you owe us.'? You can then settle the deal by saying, 'Alright. I think we can compromise. You guys clean up your act so that just maybe Northern Aberta won't look like the land of Mordor for the next few hundred years and maybe we can work something out.'

This type of action won't destroy the economy, or cause massive layoffs, or halt development in Alberta. What it will do is force Big Oil to take responsability for it's actions, and hopefully keep our province healthy for future generations. I say it's the oil companies' turn to pucker up.

NASA decides not to use Crazy-Ass Astronauts

It appears that North America's most brilliant minds have all banded together and decided that Lisa Nowak is unfit to be an astronaut. It does kind of make sense, when you take into account that she planned a homicide that involved wearing an adult daiper.

NASA has decided to review it's Astronaut screening process due to the Nowak case. I guess it might not be a bad idea to keep the homicidals out of a cramped confined space shuttle in high stress situations for long durations of time.

Snakes on a Plane for real?

Workers at a Malaysian air cargo complex found crates bound for Hong Kong from Thailand carrying over 2400 snakes of a protected species. It looks like Thai smugglers were illegally transporting the snaked for sale. Apparently, illegal snakes fetch some sweet coin in Hong Kong, with the stash having a street value of about $80000 US Dollars.

My question is of course...where was Sam Jackson when this motherf*%^er went down?

Did you order these parts, ma'am?

Ick. It seems that some medical research human parts have been mistakenly shipped out to random people in North America. A couple in Michigan actually had a human liver and partial (wtf?!? PARTIAL?) head delivered to their door. They were (again with the WTF!?!) wrapped in bubblewrap, which is of course the preferred packaging materials for human heads.

Now I'm no medical researcher, or an expert on international shipping, or the handling of human remains, but COME ON. Really? Maybe try just a little harder to verify the shipping information. Ugh.

Well, look at those Flames!

Well, well, Hockey World! First the Calgary Flames win in a shootout, and three days later on the road! For a team that basically hasn't done either of these things hardly at all this year, that's almost a miracle. If they can continue this kind of play...expect big things in the playoffs!

And now...the requisite Zombie Dog story.

Yes, folks, it's true.

Scientists have managed to bring dogs back from the dead! And the good news is that humans won't be far behind!

It's a multi-step process:*

1. Stop the dog's heart, and then drain Fluffy's blood. Of course, the dog is DEAD at this time.
2. Replace said blood with near-freezing saline solution at roughly 7 degrees Celsius. The saline solution keeps the organs and tissues perfectly preserved.
3. A few hours later, reverse steps 1 and 2, thereby refilling doggie's body with blood.
4. Apply a 100% Oxygen mix to the dog, and zap it good with a defibrilator (you know, the heart-zappy thingy).

Voila! You've successfully cheated death for your now very skittish puppy. If you've done everything correctly, no brian damage or other side effects are apparent, and your dog can continue to live as before.**

It's of course not a long-term solution for death avoidance like Cryogenics, but apparently it should be easy to replicate on humans.

I guess there are some future practical applications for this technology. Doctors believe that it may be an excellent way to evacuate critically injured soldiers from the field of battle, or to move patients to facilities better equipped to handle certain types of injury or disease.

Well, I personally can't wait to have human zombies everywhere!

*do not try this at home. Should be attempted only by qualified Mad Scientists and/or Evil Geniuses in a controlled laboratory/secret lair.

**Apart from a possible new unsatiable desire to consume brains.

Evolution, Intelligent Design, and now Option #3...Flying Spaghetti Monster!

When I heard about the spreading Internet phenomenon of Flying Speghetti Monsterism, I couldn't believe it. It's a stroke of shear brilliance in parody and symbolism. Please click here to read the open letter written by Bobby Henderson to the Kansas School Board.

The back story is that Henderson, a biology professor, wrote this open letter when he heard that Kansas was following the wack-nut recommendations of George Dubya and teaching Intelligent Design in schools as an alternative to Evolution, splitting time evenly 50/50 between the two. Henderson decided that fair is fair, and requested that Kansas then also split even time in schools with his chosen religion, the worship of a lighter than air pasta diety called the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Henderson contends that he has as much indisputable scientific evidence of the FSM creating the universe as the Christians do of God doing it, and therefor, his theory is jsut as valid scientifically, and should be taught in schools.

Calling themselves "pastifarians", the believers, now numbering in the thousands, have several other beliefs, including that global warming is directly proporational to the number of pirates on Earth. Check the graphs on the website! Indisputable Proof!

I encourage everyone to purchase a "Touched by his Noodly Appendage" T-shirt, a "WWFSMD?" Coffee Mug, or even a "Stop Global Warming, dress like a Pirate" bumper sticker to support Flying Spaghetti Monsterism in schools!

Recycling old Blogs

OK, so I'm ready to go here. For the first bit, I am going to recycle some old posts from my previous blog. There doesn't seem to be an easy way to just import them, so I'm going to reuse them, and then enter new content.

Deal with it, I guess.